{"id":202,"date":"2008-10-01T18:57:15","date_gmt":"2008-10-01T22:57:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ngc2632.com\/blog\/?p=202"},"modified":"2008-10-01T18:57:15","modified_gmt":"2008-10-01T22:57:15","slug":"election-2008-vidicon-for-lwa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/everything\/election-2008-vidicon-for-lwa\/","title":{"rendered":"Election 2008: Vidicon for lwa"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve consulted with my marketing department, and I&#8217;ve been told that if I&#8217;m going to be a <em>lwa<\/em>, then I need a definitive semi-divine aspect and a core set of attributes that set me apart from other <em>lwa<\/em> on the market. I mean, why would someone invoke me when there already so many other qualified supernatural entities to pester? There must be a clear answer to this question in the future devotees&#8217; minds.<\/p>\n<p>Not trying to be a wise-ass, I came up with a few in an almighty instant:  <\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>I&#8217;m a good deal less imaginary than some supernatural entities.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m reachable by phone, so you don&#8217;t have to embarrass yourself praying in public&#8211;though I admit nowadays it just looks like you&#8217;re using your Bluetooth headset.<\/li>\n<li>I may only return one call in four, but I hear that&#8217;s also better than many supernatural entities. Shoot me. I&#8217;m a busy <strike>man<\/strike> <em>lwa<\/em>. <\/li>\n<li>The usual contents of my pockets may in fact get you out of a death trap, provided you can get me to materialize in there with you. Please note I may not be happy with the circumstance of being summoned into a death trap. Mortal emotions, such as mortal terror, die hard. So to speak.<\/li>\n<li>While worship and devotion are cool, I don&#8217;t really feel any more need to collect used souls than I do to collect used tampons. Which is to say none at all.<\/li>\n<li>I could never possibly condone a hymn that wasn&#8217;t also a drinking song. Or a drinking game. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p> Reply in comments with discussion for what I should recognize as my holy symbols and links to crayon sketches of <em>veves<\/em> and iconic depictions for me to peruse and possibly approve.<\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile,<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"http:\/\/www.ngc2632.com\/imghost\/groundcontroltomajorkong.png\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ngc2632.com\/imghost\/groundcontroltomajorkong.png\" \/><\/div>\n<p>\n[*]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve consulted with my marketing department, and I&#8217;ve been told that if I&#8217;m going to be a lwa, then I need a definitive semi-divine aspect and a core set of attributes that set me apart from other lwa on the market. I mean, why would someone invoke me when there already so many other qualified [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1rL5j-3g","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/202"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=202"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/202\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}