{"id":75,"date":"2007-08-29T17:21:21","date_gmt":"2007-08-29T22:21:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ngc2632.com\/blog\/?p=75"},"modified":"2007-08-29T18:16:58","modified_gmt":"2007-08-29T23:16:58","slug":"when-swedish-beavers-attack-the-paris-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/everything\/when-swedish-beavers-attack-the-paris-review\/","title":{"rendered":"When Swedish Beavers Attack The Paris Review"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>When Swedish Beavers Attack<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

…granny goes to the hospital.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Astronomers Find Empty Space in Space<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

That’s right. A big empty space. Either that or it’s a cloaked Romulan vessel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Vervet Monkeys Sexually Harass Kenyan Women<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

…complete with breast-grabbing and pointing at beavers<\/strike> genitals.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“Priority” Shipping for Military Contracts: $990,000+ for a $0.19 Washer<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

…not that the headline and the first paragraph can agree on exactly how much the amount was. But it seems to have been more than $20 million over six years for $68,000 worth of parts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Money Costs Too Much Money<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Pennies cost two cents, nickels cost a dime. Comes to about $100 million wasted every year. Compared to the war debt it’s chump change, but still….<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Atlanta Proposes Criminalizing Jail-Inspired Fashion Statement<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

…and also exposed bra-straps and thongs. I say just go ahead and ban underwear, because then you wouldn’t ever risk seeing any.<\/p>\n

I’ve never really seriously considered wearing my underpants on the outside of my pants until now.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mother Theresa’s Diary Reveals<\/strong><\/a> 40 Years of Doubt that God Existed<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

…proving once and for all that you can have a decent grasp of right and wrong and public service and still be canonized as a saint<\/strong><\/a> without any hope of some kind of eternal reward.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

…and, if you have no idea what a rejection slip from The Paris Review<\/strong><\/a> looks like, here’s one:<\/p>\n

\"unable, <\/center>Elsewhere on the intarwebs<\/strong><\/a> I have been discussing the amusing differences between the words “unable” and “unwilling”, with some certain amount of conjecture as to what could make editors in the USA (amazingly enough, The Paris Review<\/strong> isn’t French) unable to publish any particular item.<\/p>\n

[*]<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Swedish Beavers Attack …granny goes to the hospital. Astronomers Find Empty Space in Space That’s right. A big empty space. Either that or it’s a cloaked Romulan vessel. Vervet Monkeys Sexually Harass Kenyan Women …complete with breast-grabbing and pointing at beavers genitals. “Priority” Shipping for Military Contracts: $990,000+ for a $0.19 Washer …not that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1rL5j-1d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xal.li\/eri\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}