The Cactus of Truth

Some of you may have seen this. Some of you may not have seen this because of bandwidth issues.

Click here for huge image.

Things I learned from this:

To fundamentalist conservatives, the idea of Satan as a creator-god demiurge is preferable to a theory of “materialistic evolution”, as the toxic alkaloids produced by plants that have the survival-oriented effect of repelling insects quite obviously has a more intentional effect of providing evil hallucinatory experience for people who may nibble on them. At least Satan can be considered to be an Intelligence worthy of being blamed for some of the more obviously evil aspects of Intelligent Design. Like mescaline and psilocybin. And Albert Hoffman and Aldous Huxley, by extension.

How amazingly Catharist! Is that really a conservative viewpoint worthy of being espoused in the All-American, Christian-dominated Conservapedia?

Also, the conservative viewpoint seems to embrace whole-heartedly that destruction of our shared environment is A-OK, as dominion and stewardship include a God(? Satan?)-endorsed right to what amounts to criminal negligence. At least as far as poisonous cacti are concerned. Which may or may not have been created by Satan anyway, so who cares?

Also also, a “cursory glance” is a scientific tool that totally dominates, like, microscopes and shit. Because Intelligent Design, whether by God or Satan, never produces any puzzles that require you to look beneath the surface of what you see with a cursory glance. Like why the earth’s crust seems to be peppered with skeletons of giant lizards. And so on.

Also also also, the belief put forth by “the natives” of the Sonoran Desert that saguaro cacti might be reincarnations of deceased ancestors is preferable to “Darwinism” because, for some reason, reincarnation as plant matter has to involve an Intelligence directing the process. However, this Intelligence is doing a shitty job because the saguaros are slow-growing, slow to reproduce, and subject to pests—striking yet another blow for the conservative Christian-endorsed theory that the Creator is either evil or incompetent and is in the habit of stuffing souls He has no current use for into the interiors of saguaro cacti.

I just thought you should know these things too. Especially if you’re a conservative American Christian.


February 27, 2007 · by xalieri · Posted in Everything Else  


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