April 29, 2006 · Posted in Everything Else  
April 25, 2006 · Posted in Everything Else  
April 20, 2006 · Posted in Everything Else  

ImageMy (ultra-) short fiction piece “Falling Out” has been published in the brand new anthology Fish Drink Like Us available here from Pretend Genius Press.

Fish Drink Like Us has been touted as “the best fiction anthology since the bible.”

I could give you a few words about the merely-three-hundred-word “Falling Out” but the commentary track would be quite a bit longer than the festure, so to speak. File it in the general category of “relationship problems and their resolutions” and move on.

Fish Drink Like Us
Pretend Genius Press
264 pages/trade softcover
ISBN: 097785261-X

April 17, 2006 · Posted in Everything Else  

When I asked my wife what I should put on the front of my website to get people’s attention, she said “breasts.” I briefly considered using hers, and then, even more briefly, considered using my own.

I thought, “I’m trying to be serious here. I’m trying to show I’m a businessman. My writing is my business. Publishing is my business. What’s breasts—hers or mine—got to do with that?”

Plenty, of course. Breasts quite often mean business.

Breasts are dangerous. You can go to jail if you use them wrongly. You can stop traffic. You can cause accidents. You can stop all conversation in a room and then start it back up again. The power of a breast to disrupt order and galvanize opinions is frequently underrated. This totally leaves out their ability to nourish children and other cannibals.

I’m still not certain breasts are appropriate to my marketing strategy, but if they aren’t, maybe it’s my strategy that’s wrong. Especially if “wrong” is the same as “doomed to financial misery.”

For some reason it’s legal for me to show my breasts—which no one wants to see—and it’s not socially acceptable (often to the point of illegality) to display my wife’s breasts—which would amuse a far larger audience. It leads one to think that the more amusing something is, the less likely it is to be legal and/or socially acceptable.

This is often true. Morons and children and cannibals all know this instinctively. But it is relevant? Maybe.

I certainly wouldn’t mind if I could use my art to stop traffic, to cause accidents, to provoke, to galvanize opinions, and/or to occasionally make prudes call the cops. This sounds like something I could make money with as long as I could avoid being arrested.

I’m less certain about nourishing children and other cannibals. While intriguing, that still sounds like someone else’s job.

Regardless, I’m sure there’s something there I could use. If I could just put my finger on it. Or some other potentially amusing portion of my anatomy.

April 16, 2006 · Posted in Everything Else  

Or thereabouts.

Still working on the shameless self-promotion. Need artwork from Vince to make press releases and flyers for local bookstores, need to stabilize corporate letterhead and stationery, need to look for phone numbers to put business partners in touch with one another, need to … make a more organized list.

And, of course, more high weirdness on Monday.
More later.


April 15, 2006 · Posted in Everything Else